Sharilyn
Hafkin
M.Ed., Ed.S., LPC, CGP
Sound familiar? Hang in there!
I can help
Sharilyn Hafkin is a licensed therapist and couples consultant who helps high-performing partners strengthen their relationship through focused, intensive work. Drawing from advanced couples therapy models and executive-style consulting, she supports couples in building resilient, aligned, and emotionally mature partnerships.
How We Begin
Getting started is simple and intentional
Initial Contact
01
The first step is to reach out by email or phone. From there, we schedule a 20-minute video consultation.
Joint Video Consultation
02
This call is designed to ensure we’re a good fit and that The Intensive is the right next step for you. Both partners attend this call together.
An Orientation, Not Therapy
03
During our time, you’ll briefly share what you’re hoping to work on, and I’ll walk you through my process, which includes what to expect from our two-day intensive, why I work in this format, and how this structure supports meaningful, lasting change.
Continuing the Work
04
At the end, you’ll take time to talk privately as a couple. If you decide you’d like to move forward, you’ll email me, and we’ll schedule your intensive.
Meet Your Therapist
Sharilyn Hafkin works with
high-achieving couples who want their relationship to function with the same integrity, clarity, and intention as the rest of their lives.
Her work is focused and directive, designed for partners ready to address entrenched patterns and create meaningful, lasting change.
Her approach blends depth psychology with a consulting-informed lens, helping couples build partnerships grounded in accountability, emotional maturity, and mutual respect.
Background & Experience
For more than 15 years, I have worked at the intersection of psychology, relationships, and
high-stakes decision-making. My training in psychodynamic psychotherapy, group dynamics, and crisis work allows me to stay steady, discerning, and precise particularly in complex or emotionally charged situations.
Professional Perspective
My work is informed by years of sitting with individuals and couples as they navigate power, intimacy, conflict, and change. I am known for offering a clear perspective and direct feedback, often using metaphor, humor and plain language to surface dynamics that are difficult to see from within a relationship. Clients often describe my presence as calm, grounded, and incisive.
Depth of Training
Earlier in my career, I trained as a journalist, an experience that sharpened my ability to listen closely for what is said and what is not. I have also spent many years facilitating long-term process groups, which deepened my understanding of interpersonal systems and relational patterns over time.
The Person Behind the Practice
Before becoming a therapist, I spent years as a competitive gymnast and later became the first girl to join my high school’s varsity wrestling team. I studied journalism at the University of Florida and later trained as a psychotherapist that helped shape how I listen, think and work. Outside the office, I climbed Mount Kilimanjaro with my husband on our honeymoon, received a Survivor callback just before the world shut down in 2020, and am now raising two young daughters while attempting to sew an overly ambitious, Chanel-inspired jacket.
Your Investment
Insight first. Change second. Practice always.
Day One
Understanding the Pattern
01 Arrival & Orientation
You and your partner arrive at my office just outside Washington, DC, ready for focused work.
02 Clarifying What Brings You Here
Each of you takes turns sharing your concerns, longings, and hopes for your relationship. We slow things down so both voices are fully heard and understood.
03 Lunch Break
04 Personal Histories
In the afternoon, each of you tells your personal story. We look at how earlier experiences shape present-day reactions and expectations in your relationship.
05 Naming the Dynamic
By the end of the day, your dynamic is clearly named and understood. You leave with shared language, insight, and a sense of how and why things have been breaking down.
06 Letting the Work Land
Tonight is about integration, not continuation. Share a good meal, keep things gentle and low-stakes, and allow your nervous systems time to settle. Rest well so tomorrow begins from steadiness rather than momentum.
Day Two
Changing the Pattern
01 Re-Grounding & Review
We begin by revisiting the insights from Day One and orienting toward change.
02 Interrupting Reactivity
You learn how to recognize the moment your reactive, impulsive patterns take over and how to pause before they cause more damage.
03 Building Adult-to-Adult Skills
We focus on practical tools, techniques, and real-life interventions that help you respond from the grounded, adult part of yourselves rather than from fear, defense, or urgency.
04 Lunch Break
05 Practicing New Moves
You practice these skills in session, with guidance and support, so they translate into your daily life, not just the therapy room.
06 Integration & Next Steps
We consolidate what you’ve learned and clarify how to continue the work after the intensive, whether through follow-up sessions or intentional practice on your own.
The Value of an Intensive
A two-day intensive offers a level of depth, precision, and momentum that weekly therapy cannot replicate. Over the course of approximately 10 hours, we identify the core pain points in your marriage: the deeper wounds, emotional triggers, and relational patterns that can often take four to six months to surface in traditional weekly work.
By staying immersed in the work, nothing is lost between sessions. There is no restarting, no re-orienting, and no dilution of focus. We hold both the broad architecture of your relationship and the highly specific moments that cause breakdowns, allowing us to move efficiently to the heart of what matters most.
Like a sustained ascent, progress comes not from repeated starts, but from staying in motion. The continuity of the intensive allows insight to build, patterns to clarify, and meaningful change to occur. Clients often find that more is accomplished in these two days than in months of weekly therapy.
Workshops For Couples & Communities
Workshop 1
The Beauty of a Boundary
01 The Framework
Healthy boundaries are not walls, ultimatums, or the emotional equivalent of “taking your toys and going home.” In this 20–25 minute workshop, we explore boundaries the way they’re understood in Terry Real's Relational Life Therapy model: as loving, clear, respectful limits that protect connection and does not escape it.
02 What You'll Learn
Using humor, metaphor, and real-life relational examples, I’ll walk participants through:
What boundaries actually are (and what they are not)
How to set limits without triggering escalation
Why boundaries create safety, not distance
How to recognize the difference between healthy self-respect and quiet resentment
03 Lasting Impact
This workshop is fast-paced, interactive, and intentionally engaging, with plenty of time for questions and discussion. Attendees leave with a sharper sense of their own relational edges and a newfound appreciation for how boundaries can deepen intimacy rather than compromise it.
Workshop 2
How to Fight Right
01 The Relational Timeout
In relationships, “cooling off” isn’t a luxury, it’s a skill. Grounded in principles from RLT, this workshop offers a clear, practical understanding of the timeout: when to take one, how to take one, and why it’s the most effective and elegant interruption to an escalating dynamic.
02 Stepping Out Without Walking Away
Using humor and metaphor (because who doesn’t need a little levity when talking about conflict?), we unpack:
How to recognize the moment you’re “offline” and no longer relational
The exact steps of a structured timeout
What to do during the Timeout so it actually works
How to re-enter the conversation with accountability and connection
03 Where Learning Becomes Repair
Participants will have opportunities to ask questions, share experiences, and learn how the Timeout becomes a couple’s “pause button” - a simple, powerful tool that keeps conflict from becoming damage.
This brief luncheon workshop delivers concrete skills, laughter, and a clear roadmap couples can start using that very day.
Your First Step
Reaching out is often the hardest part.
Whether you’re feeling uncertain, hopeful, overwhelmed, or simply ready for support, I’m here to make this process easy and grounded from the very beginning.
I look forward to connecting with you & helping you take the next step toward real change.
- Book a call